Friday, October 5, 2012

Goodbye 20s!

It's officially happened. I'm not a 20 something anymore. I AM 30! How on earth did this happen?! Shouldn't I feel like a grown up all the way yet? Because I don't.

I remember being SO excited to turn 30 not all that long ago. We were going to have a great party/night out to celebrate, and I was going to bask in the glory of making it another decade. Then my father passed away. I know it sounds silly from the outside, but I was left with no desire to celebrate at all. I felt guilty for getting to move forward through the years some more. All I could think about was " When dad turned 30, he didn't know half his life was already over". I waited all day for him to call, even though I knew that he couldn't/wouldn't. Somehow I couldn't let go of the idea. 

Then it hit me. He wouldn't want me to be upset or sad. In fact, he would be the first one to tell me to cheer up, and that it's okay to be upset, but don't let it affect everything. He would hate that I was feeling guilty about anything. So I trudged on, and went out bowling and had a couple beers with a couple of my close friends. It wound up being a really nice time. As it would turn out, you can be sad and still have a good time all at once.

Grieving SUCKS. That is all. No more depressing crap. I give you: A picture of my dog embarassed to be wearing a party hat.

Riley also has an October birthday, and is a proud 4 year old :)

Over the years I've learned a lot. And if I could find 21 year old me, I would smack her in the face for being so careless, and tell her that things change. Often. It's important to be able to adapt to things in healthy ways.  People enter and exit your life. And that is okay. Someone you thought was a really good friend, may not be there in the long haul, but your true friends, and family, are there for you.

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